Choose A Community that Forgives

Proverbs 17:9

One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.

Hey! Hi & Hello

Have you ever done something to offend a friend and felt like it was no big deal? Perhaps you felt as if they were blowing things out of proportion and should just get over it? Let me ask you this, have you ever been on the receiving end of this particular scenario hoping for an apology? Or have you found yourself in a position where you needed to ask forgiveness for such behavior? I'm sorry to say, but forgiveness is not always the easiest thing to give or to get. We as a society are easily offended and we tend to hold the affront, big or small, tightly and close to our hearts. We almost wear the offense as a badge of honor. We let it define who we are, and we let it determine our character. Honestly, it's a very sad sight to see.

Being offensive and harsh in friendship is simply a no-no. We see from scripture that God is against it and that there is a standard on how to operate when confronted with certain situations within a friendship. Unforgiveness serves no one in the end, and when used as a tool for punishment it becomes cruel and toxifies the relationship. It's like the person keeps the offense alive so that the offender will stay aware of the offense and in a perpetual place of needing to be reconciled. The only thing your unforgiveness does is alienate those in the friendship. How so, Nicci? You can't be around her and show unconditional love and she can't be around you to receive or show it either.

Choosing not to forgive creates a gap in relationship. This is why God says for us to confess our sin to Him and He is faithful and just to forgive us of that sin. This act of confession and forgiveness bridges the gap that sin created so that we can continue to commune with our heavenly Father. He also says to confess our sin one to another. Dwelling on the affront will cause us to remain in a position of offended. That position will keep you in a state of unforgiveness and the scripture says it will alienate a friend. So, when you find yourself all alone check your forgiveness of offenses from old friends. The blows of a friend can be trusted (Proverbs 27:6).

I know plenty of women who roll by the creed "I don't do women." It wreaks of a broken heart, and I hate to see women broken especially by other women. We are to be supportive of one another and help one another. Dwelling on past offenses and remaining in a state of unforgiveness is for the birds but being alone isn't the way either.

I'm encouraging you to love on yourself by forgiving a friend today. Release them and release yourself. Bear it all to your friend. Decide today to not dwell on what has happened. Decide to move forward in forgiveness and love. If there is too much water under the bridge, too much time has passed, or the friend decided not to let it go even after the forgiveness has taken place, then perhaps rekindling the relationship with this old friend isn't best for you. I still encourage you to forgive and let it go so that your heart is open, and you free up room for new friends. Be sure to keep this scripture near and dear to your heart so that when affronts arise, and they will, you will be quick to forgive.

Time is up for being alienated and all alone. Learn to love yourself by fostering Godly friendships and being what you're looking for.

I love you, my P.R.E.T.T.Y friend.